Jill Busa
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Posted - 2011.06.27 17:08:00 -
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Edited by: Jill Busa on 27/06/2011 17:17:12
Originally by: Darius III Edited by: Darius III on 24/06/2011 13:51:18 If you have not yet purchased a monocle, I think you are pubbie scum who are not worthy of the attentions of such grand and noble folk who possess one. Sure I was mad at CCP at first, but after careful consideration, I decided that until I had worn the monocle, I could not judge. I assumed that the experience would only highlight the poor choice by CCP to price them out of reach of most players. It was after careful consideration, in my opinion, that I needed a monocle to see for myself if my assumption that they were overpriced was correct.
I assure you gentlemen and commoners alike-the monocle is indeed a good value. After purchasing my monocle, I had a most exquisite sense of empowerment. Nary a day goes buy that I do not relish and cherish the experience. It has indeed added value to my subscription and my perception of Eve Online. The act of donning the monocle has improved my self esteem, attracted copious amounts of the fairer sex, and-preliminary reports are suggesting-that it has improved the fuel economy of my automobile. Further, my male organ appears to have been getting larger. I visited my private physician, and much to his surprise, it seems to have cured my chronic syphilis as well as having improved my vocabulary.
I implore thee, other owners of such masterfully crafted eyewear-make yourselves known, that we may, as a group, extoll the virtues of ownership of such an exquisite, yet fashionable gem as the eyepiece provided to us by our peers at CCP. I have made it known to my alliance that I will in fact no longer take orders from any of the other directors who are not similarly attired with the looking glass.
To you masses of filthy commoners who aspire to obtain, yet cannot afford the monocle, I give you a message: You are beneath the dirt on my precision boots. I would need a telescope to look so far down upon your writhing unwashed masses that in fact, I get vertigo just thinking about it. You commoners should refrain from posting about your unhappiness and return to mining veldspar or whatever it is you do with your time and leave forum posting to those of us literate and considerate enough to behave like true gentlemen whilst visiting these forums. I order you, my un-monocled vassals, to return to the fields at once and resume your toil and peasantry. That is all, consider yourselves dismissed, Your high lord an Emperor, CSM Darius III
Additionally I would like to state, at the bequest of a particularily informed commoner, my belief that "As for Helicity, she was the weakest link, and has thus been eliminated" I dare say had she purchased a monocle, her masters at CCP (my peers) may have showed more leniency towards her. Since she is not similarly bespectacled however she got what she deserved. No begone, rabble and commoners alike!
Patrick Stewart would be proud. I actually imagined him wearing the monocle (a'la Borg), saying all these lines. Fun.
Originally by: Darius III Meh. You have no idea of the power and respect I command now that I am properly bespectacled. D3
Oh, and kind Sir, thou art not bespectacled but merely monocled.
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